[manfred]

Can someone explain to me I'm new to bdsm. I was seeing a man who was special to me. I let him put a dog collar on me with a chain and treat me like a slave, which was his fantasy, and I told him he could do anything to me. Afterwards, that night we slept and he was so distant from me, wouldn't hold me the way he had before, and from there his interest spiraled down hill. He broke up with me a week later, said we had no chemistry. Right now, I feel like a whore, sick to my stomach. I was so vulnerable and trusted him. Isn't that what bdsm is about? I thought I was turning him on by giving myself to him, and I think it just turned him off that I would let him do that to me. Why do men want the whore, but only fall in love with the virgin?

[lemme]

Because we are dogs

[zani]

BDSM is about trust, yes and very much so. That's not to assume, though, that everyone who has an interest in it is someone you'll want to engage in it with. I'm sorry you had such a rotten outfall for what sounds like your firct encounter with bdsm activities.

[malanga]

oh, sweetie. you need to learn that the guy has to earn your trust before you let him put the collar on you -- don't just give it away to anyone with the fantasy of treating a woman like a slave. No, that's not what BDSM is about. A lot of people believe in Aftercare

[jablonsky]

sorry, that link didn't work try this one: )

[Henrika]

gah!! you'll have to cut and paste the last ) isn't htmling correctly so the link still won't work.

[vala]

thanks I found it I don't know why, but it made me very sad. I truly think I made a mistake in letting this happen

[smedberg]

The reason BDSM works for me is that the people who hurt me then immediately kiss it and make it better. If they didn't make it better, it would leave me feeling empty and abused, which I think is what you're feeling now. I hope this doesn't sour you on the whole thing, because it is possible to have someone love you, treat you with respect, and beat you and degrade you, too.

[imbrogno]

that is what I'm feeling and wanting hopelessly to be held tightly forever.

[ratto]

I'd hug you right now if I could.

[chiarello]

that is terrible... but I dont believe we are all like that.

[kiner]

my first question... ...was he new to BDSM too?

[wager]

I don't think so I found his box of toys. he had quite a few, and the box was this beautiful wooden thing that held a prominent spot in his closet. We never talked about it. It's part of his personality to want to dominate, so it makes sense.

[Troy]

thanks serraphim me too. I left him a phone message that said if I saw him again, I would want to beat the crap out of him. I think I sufficiently freaked him out.